This is a little bit after the fact.
But I want to talk about it anyway.
Going to American University pretty much guarantees participation in some sort of social activism at one point in your college career--for example, I went to the National Equality March in October, which was sweet. Then this last Wednesday, we'd heard talk of Fred Phelps and the WBC coming to the D.C. Marriage Bureau to protest gay marriage because of course, "God Hates Fags." Naturally since we're all fucking bleeding heart liberals, we decide to go and COUNTER PROTEST. I'm actually just really curious to see Fred Phelps in the flesh because to be honest, I kind of just want to sit down with the guy and ask him a shit load of questions and find out what he's all about. But anyway, we get there a little before the time they're scheduled to come. And there are camera crews, and all sorts of other college students with clever signs, and some black dude yelling about indecency. And it's all very exciting.
And we're all just waiting for Phelps and Co. to show up. This is the part where I completely shift my story by telling you that they never do. Apparently they had already been there spewing their gospel earlier that morning, and were now moving on to somewhere else. Which was a bummer. So instead of counter protesting Fred Phelps, we end up hanging out for a while and cheering on every gay couple who comes out of the D.C. Marriage Bureau, their relationship finally recognized and acknowledged by the United States, land of equal opportunities.
But I wondered how they felt when they left and saw a bunch of people they didn't even know cheering for them. I don't think it could have felt that great. They didn't invite us to their wedding. I don't think they wanted camera crews or publicity or stupid college kids with Lady Gaga signs. I don't think they were craving local approval. The union was supposed to be between them, like it should have always been but never was.
How can I say this without sounding obscure or bitchy?
It was never a battle they should have had to fight. It never should have been something to win. Marriage is a right, love is a human fucking right, and they shouldn't have been denied it in the first place. And so acceptance and indifference are two different things. Once people stop caring that gay couples want to get married, we'll have finally taken a step forward. Right now though, I can't stop feeling like cheering for gay couples as they exit the Bureau is patronizing, condescending, and presumptuous.
Do you know what I mean? Because if I get married, I don't want fifty odd strangers telling me that they think its "okay" for me to be with the person I love. I won't give a shit what people I don't know think about my relationship. And I certainly won't fucking ask for their approval.
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