gol dang those white folks

I've been noticing for a while now an increasingly curious racial self-loathing in (younger) white people today. For a while it's been expressed as a self-deprecating look into the weird quirks and desires of "white" people, who are being portrayed as clueless psuedo-liberals who want to appear culturally aware and welcoming. "Stuff White People Like" is hilarious in its perfect specificity, and written with well-intentioned satire, typically prompting an "Oh god, that's totally me, dammit" response from a reader. It's not bitter or accusatory, but in it's own way manages to have a little bit of an edge underneath the jokes. 

I just stumbled upon another blog, "stuff white people do," which, on the surface, looks to be similar to the original "Stuff White People Like." On closer examination though, most of the posts are pretty vitriolic, slamming modern white people for embracing racist books (To Kill A Mockingbird was cited), being "afraid" of black people, investigating reverse-racism, denying the existence of racial tension, and generally just being...well, racist. The blog is written by macon d, who explains himself as "a white guy, trying to find out what that means. Especially the 'white' part." 

Judging by his hotly opinionated posts, Macon appears to have discovered what the descriptor "white" means, and it doesn't seem to have a positive connotation. The thing is, I don't think he's really wrong in most of what he says. But what is interesting is that he's so adamant that the people of his race are so ethically and politically backwards--and so, by heavily criticizing their faults, he's trying to distance himself away from the entire race. It's a sort of "I'm not like them," declaration; to what audience he's trying to convey this message, I'm not sure. But his blanket attacks on ALL white people certainly indicate some sort of racial self loathing. 

Enlightened white people--perhaps like Macon, or the writer of Stuff White People Like--don't want to be white anymore because it's not considered cool. The white people mocked in blogs are pathetic spineless wannabes, or else self-righteous closet racists. And while there's much truth to every stereotype, the people who point them out so wildly don't end up looking much better than those they accuse. 

In the end, your skin will always be the color it was when you came into this world. And no matter what your opinion is, that fact will always speak louder. 

Sparing Change

People ask me for money a lot. On the street. Sometimes they're outright about it. Other times they have a story. Most times I give them something.

I was on the phone with my mom, wasting time at work in the Loop, when this guy comes up to me.

"Listen, miss, I'm so sorry to bother you, but..."

I tell my mom to hang on, and I listen to this dude's story. Apparently he's from Jersey, doesn't know a soul, needs bus money but everyone downtown is an asshole with a place to go, and could I spare a couple of bucks? He pulled out his ID and told me he'd give me that as collateral until he paid me back. I didn't want his ID--what was I supposed to do with it?-- and I had some money in my wallet. But this is always a curious situation. Should I believe his story and cut him some slack? Did his story even matter? Fuck it. I had some buckage. I could spare it.

"Sure," I said. I gave him three dollars.

"Well, what I really needed was about 12 dollars, miss, but I didn't want to ask you that in the first place, I know it's a lot of money but I'm trying to get a bus..." and on he goes.

I check my wallet. I've got more than that to spare, but I'm not feeling giving all of it to him. So I hand him a fiver and wish him luck. He thanks me profusely and goes on his way. I go back to my phone conversation with my mother.

"Oh, you were so just scammed."

Yeah? Yeah. Maybe I was. Maybe he was lying about the bus, maybe he was hustling me. But he was still asking for money, which means he obviously still needed it for something. He still needed it. So who cares what story he told me? Why does that even matter? Why do we always need a reassurance that when we're helping someone out financially that they're in tangible trouble? People like my mother want proof that this person's car did break down, or they did get mugged. But why? What does that change? Does that make you feel better about giving away five, ten, twenty dollars? Because you're helping someone? That's the only time we can justify being generous, if we're absolutely sure that they have an immediate problem.

Look, that approach makes sense. We want to help someone in trouble. And when people lie about their situation, we get offended, like someone screwed up our charity donations. But I'd like to get back to the original point--that there's someone here asking me for money. And if they didn't need it for something, they wouldn't ask.

I dunno. I think the need outweighs the reason. And I don't care how naive that sounds because I never want to be as cynical as my mother.