I'd rather do Billy Bragg than Pete Wentz any day

"The arch in your eyebrows can tell the truth,just imagine what your back could do. And the dance floor where I do my best is your, your mattress."

This is not a Fall Out Boy lyric, which was my first thought when I saw this as someone's status. I looked it up. It's called "Sweet Talk 101" by Cute Is What We Aim For, a band with an entirely too long name and not enough substance to justify its length. The reason I thought it was Fall Out Boy or Panic! At the Disco (it pains me to put that exclamation point there, but I can't be too much of a hypocrite considering I completely respect Against Me!'s unnecessary punctuation) or Boys Like Girls, or even Bright Eyes--or any other one of those post-ironic pop-punk bands who use seemingly eloquent turns of phrase to create devil women and provocative double entendres. I thought this was cool when I was fourteen. I don't anymore, but also don't really begrudge or condescend toward people who respect and enjoy these bands. And I don't claim to be so evolved musically and so super duper indie and in the know when I do have a strange liking of Ke$ha--who is kind of total crap--, and I really like musicals, and I also have an almost embarrassing amount of really soft, tame acoustic music that I enjoy in my iTunes. But I just find this trend in bands like Cute Is What We Aim For kind of interesting.

Because most of these skinny white guys with high voices seem like they were total doofs pre skyrocket to fame. And now that they're making their music for their fans--now that they have fans who hang on their every word--its like they've newly realized the art of insinuation--particularly sexual--that can be put to use in music and lyrics. But for me, I can't get past the fact that these guys all look kind of awkward and weird, and aren't really smooth talking nonchalant sex machines at all. So I'm not taken in by "I've got more wit, a better kiss, a hotter touch, a better fuck/Than any boy you'll ever meet, sweetie you had me" because I know that's just probably NOT TRUE. And all these poseur Don Juans know it too, so they overcompensate by making all of their lyrics heavy with innuendo, allusions, and double meaning. And I don't think they're actually being ironic about it--which is a cop out anyway, so don't even try it. You can do anything and get away with it now solely on the basis that you were doing it out of irony.

If you want to be sexy, you've just got to be sexy. Don't cloud every meaning with a trompe l'oeil. Don't rely only on silly plays on words. And for God's sake, don't use the word "sweetie."

All of these self proclaimed "better fucks" should probably go listen to Billy Bragg, who writes some of the sexiest songs I've ever heard:

http://www.metrolyrics.com/the-warmest-room-lyrics-billy-bragg.html

Listen to that, The Saturday Boy, and A Lover Sings and tell me the art of true sensual subtlety and beauty isn't dead.